Monday, December 24, 2012

Xmas Eve

Over the past few years xmas hasn't felt festive for me.
I find I am in the same situation every year. Nothing has changed as far as my marriage is concerned. As much as I should be happy with my job and my kids I am so unhappy in my marriage.
It's like the never ending ride that doesn't really change.

It's become who I am. Almost as if it defines me, but it's not me. It's not who I am in my soul.
even my home, it's not a sanctuary to me because it's not me. It's something I settled for to compromise what everyone else wanted. what Alex wanted.

It's my own fault. I have allowed this to happen and I am not doing anything to change it.

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